Monday 29 February 2016

Eat cheese, drink wine and help Teddington

If you like cheese, wine, fun or helping Teddington Athletic's girls – or even all four! – come along to the TAFC wine & cheese fundraiser on Saturday 12 March.

Last time we held one everybody had a great time, and it will help raise money towards the Tampa Tour. As well as taste-tests there will be quizzes, a raffle and a silent auction for some great prizes.



Sun 28 Feb: Crystal Palace Blues 2-1 Teddington Athletic

This was Teddington Athletic’s worst ever defeat.

They’ve been beaten by bigger margins before, and in all likelihood will be again; no team can expect to remain unbeaten, especially when competing in the county’s top flight against offshoots of professional clubs from the Football League and Premier League.

But let’s not gild the lily. Before this game, Crystal Palace’s second team defined rock-bottom, having played 12 league games and lost them all, scoring just nine goals and conceding at least 78 (the “at least” allowing for the league’s laudable limiting of reported winning margins at eight goals). But they beat Teddington, and deservedly so.

Two days after being given their gleaming new kit for next month’s Florida tour, the visiting team turned in the sort of performance to raise the question: “Why bother?”. Manager Dave Waldron had dashed across London from Lord’s, where some of the girls were progressing in a cricket competition. Assistant manager Gary Parkinson was absorbing his daughter’s decision to leave the team at the end of the season to concentrate on her GCSEs, and was himself wrestling with whether to continue his commitment to the club. On Friday, the coaches had dedicated another excellent training session to retaining possession and tiring out the opposition. And the players’ ever-willing parents had once again donated the bulk of their Sunday to schlepping an hour each way through some of south London’s ugliest suburbs.

The only people who didn’t show up were the players.

The warning signs were there from early on. With only 12 players available, it didn’t help that more than half of them turned up late to a ground they’d only played at three weeks previously. Despite the 1.30pm kick-off, many were unaccountably dozy in a lacklustre warm-up – an apt name with some players complaining of the cold, as if they hadn’t been bought enough thermal base-layers in their lives.

Some players might blame their parents for not packing a base-layer, but that would excuse a lack of responsibility that would soon leave them feeling silly as well as chilly. These are no longer primary-school children, and although part of the point of Teddington Athletic is to equip the girls for life’s challenges, unlike in last week’s narrow win at Fleet Town none of them really rose to take control of the situation. A team that started the day third in the league looked leaderless, listless and eventually pointless.

Some dug in and tried – Amy was as diligent as ever, Liz came out for the second half determined to take the game by the scruff of the neck, and emergency centre-forward Doddsy tried to outrun the defence – but they weren’t good enough to match a winless team whose average result this season was a 6-1 loss.

Meanwhile in a simultaneous game on an adjacent pitch, champions AFC Wimbledon and runaway leaders Crystal Palace Reds contested a Cup game played at a far higher quality, yards away in geography but miles ahead in application and ability.

There were hard-luck stories along the way. A qualified referee might have disallowed Palace’s first goal, although it’s a moot question whether Ruby had dropped the ball fractionally before the striker – chasing lost causes in a manner Teddington rarely did – kneed home the opener. The home side’s typically high offside line (against which the management had designed a simple tactical plan the players failed to enact) was aided by an overenthusiastic home linesman who seemed to regard any attacker as active at all times.

But all credit to Palace, who were more than the sum of their parts. Their crucial second goal was a fine strike, the big No.6 outstripping the visitors’ defence and lashing home a ferocious shot which may have bounced down off the crossbar and over the line – not that she waited for acknowledgement before heading home the bouncing ball anyway.

All game long the strugglers fought for each other, even when Teddington threatened an undeserved late comeback with Carla hitting the post and Liz despatching a penalty nobody seemed to want to take. Had the visitors fluked a draw it would have been unconscionably cruel on their visibly thrilled hosts, who were enthused anew with a love of football. Unlike some in the league, Palace Blues and their manager Matt have a likeable humility and gratitude; they may not have a winning team, but they have a winning attitude. Teddington need to rediscover theirs.

TEDDINGTON ATHLETIC Ruby Rudkin, Anna Kauffman, Millie Theobald, Saskia Brewster, Amy Hallett, Carla Novakovic, Ella Dodd, Liz Kriebel (1p), Emily Coulson, Millie MacEacharn, Ella Bothamley. Sub: Emily Bashford.


Friday 26 February 2016

Sun 21 Feb: Fleet Town 2-3 Teddington Athletic

And so to Hampshire, and Fleet away. A Maidenhead parent your reporter had spoken to at Crystal Palace a fortnight ago had warned of a mudbath, but compared to that benighted Beckenham hill Fleet’s new Oakley Park surface was perfectly playable, and at least didn’t resemble the side of a mountain.

Speaking of ski-slopes, half-term took its toll on Teddington’s turnout. With Phoebe, Macca, Sadie and Doddsy away, and Saskia ill, the visitors arrived with only a dozen players – quickly whittled to the regulation XI when Ale, who had been stretchered off a mountain a few days before, – failed a fitness test on her knee.

Ruby Rudkin continued in goal, with the ever-adaptable Carla Novakovic slotting into Saskia’s place alongside Millie Theobald and Ella Parkinson-Mearns. Pushed forward to the right flank of a five-girl midfield, Anna Kauffman shyly asked if she was allowed to score. In the middle, the trio of Ella Waldron, Liz Kriebel and Emily Coulson were told to sort out amongst themselves who went forward and when. Amy Hallett resumed her usual post in deep midfield and Emily Bashford completed the central set, with Ella Bothamley the front-runner.

Teddington started keenly enough, probing from the off with Liz bursting down the left to feed Boz, who cut inside for a right-footer the goalkeeper did well to save low down. But after five minutes, a typically tenacious Fleet got hold of the game and started asking questions the visitors couldn’t answer.

Fleet’s finest player is their left-winger, and they soon discovered she had more pace than Parky. Exacerbating the problem, Teddington’s backline appeared chronically unable to organise an offside trap or even to cover for each other particularly well, and the home side started to thread balls through an increasingly shaky back line.

How a team responds to the opposition is one thing, but Teddington were also making unforced errors in possession. One particularly shambolic goal-kick almost led directly to a Fleet lead, although Ruby redeemed herself by coming out to claim. Still, it was no surprise when the hosts took the lead on eight minutes, and no shock that it came from an angled ball through a porous defence and in behind Parky.

Teddington reacted immediately, switching Anna for Parky and demanding more effort in midfield. And slowly, it started to work, as the visitors wrested back control of the game through essential hard work. Arriving at the far post, Couls couldn’t quite convert what must have been the fifth corner in five minutes – but the equaliser was on its way.

It came from an entirely suitable goal. The girls have been reminded before of Alex Ferguson’s old maxim that hard work will beat talent if talent doesn’t work hard, and the 22nd-minute leveller summed this up. Battling for the ball in midfield instead of allowing Fleet to bully them, Teddington forced an error and the ball bounced through to Liz. Advancing on goal at an angle from 25 yards, the American midfielder had the vision and ability to do what not many in this league could: lift the ball over the goalkeeper and high into the net.

Two minutes later, Teddington exemplified their zest. After Jelly chased someone around in midfield to force the error, Parky chased it down on the line, found Jelly who found Liz who found Couls who shot narrowly wide from just outside the area.

The second goal arrived a minute later. Again it was won in midfield and the ball over the top found Boz, who finished with consummate confidence for the ninth strike of her debut season. That puts her two behind top scorer Phoebe, but it’s worth noting that Boz has collected her nonet in seven different games; although she sets herself high standards, the summer signing from Wimbledon scores with a pleasing regularity.

Fleet continued with their gameplan and broke through from the left a couple of times, but found a newly determined Teddington. On the first occasion, Ruby stood up well to save the shot, and on the second Jelly got back into the penalty area for the sort of superbly-executed, whistle-clean sliding tackle befitting her beloved Hammers’ greatest No.6, Bobby Moore. (At least, your reporter assumes that’s why she wears that number, rather than an admiration for fellow Hammers No.6s Martin Allen, Danny Williamson, David Unsworth, Neil Ruddock, Hayden Foxe, Carl Fletcher or George McCartney…)

Two minutes before the break, the visitors enforced their superiority for a two-goal cushion they’d later appreciate. Box chased down the right and sent over yet another superb cross, and though it eluded Liz’s run, it landed perfectly for Bash to expertly side foot home her first Teddington goal. It’s a strike she fully deserves for her fearless hard work, and means that all three of the team’s 2015/16 signings scored.

The second half was a quieter affair. Fleet had more of the ball, and scored nine minutes in when they danced through unopposed. For the first time ever, Teddington switched to a back four – and saw the game out, despite tiring legs, through working hard for each other. Up to third in the table (albeit above dangerous teams with games in hand), this undisputedly talented bunch are beginning to appreciate that they can’t always dance to victory, learning when to dig in, and making sure that talent works hard.

TEDDINGTON ATHLETIC: Ruby Rudkin, Ella Parkinson-Mearns, Millie Theobald, Carla Novakovic, Amy Hallett, Anna Kauffman, Liz Kriebel (1), Ella Waldron, Emily Coulson, Emily Bashford (1), Ella Bothamley (1). No sub (Ale Fairn injured in warm-up).



Friday 12 February 2016

Sun 7 Feb: Crystal Palace Reds 2-0 Teddington Athletic

It’s not easy arranging youth football. Even as well-organised a side as Crystal Palace Reds, double cup-winners last season and clear Premier Division leaders this, can struggle to get a reliable venue. After their previous 11-a-side base proved too susceptible to postponements, they have shifted their home games to Club Langley in Beckenham. Last season, Teddington came here and handed Croydon a 6-0 hammering: an omen?


That was on a nine-a-side cabbage patch, and as affable Palace manager Rick Lockett admitted, this pitch wasn’t up to much either: a 1 in 3 slope topped by a blazing sun and whipped by a strong wind, and freshly churned into mud by a preceding men’s game. Now the girls are playing on what are frequently full-size pitches, they’re discovering the hard way how poor the provisions are for grassroots teams in the multi-billion pound industry we call football. 


With Ruby Rudkin away, Ella Waldron donned the gloves behind an unchanged back three of Anna Kauffman, Millie Theobald and Saskia Brewster. The increasingly confident defensive midfielder Amy Hallett was joined on this occasion by Carla Novakovic, primed to repeat her successful marking job on Palace’s dangerous No.11. In front of them, Ella Dodd and Emily Coulson were flanked by Phoebe Head to the left and Ella Bothamley on the right, with Ale Fairn running the hard yards up front. On the bench were impressive newcomer Liz Kriebel, fit-again Ella Parkinson-Mearns and the late-arriving Emily Bashford.


Having lost the longest toss in history, Teddington would play the first half into the teeth of the wind, the glare of the sun and the gradient of the hill. And they did it with heart-swelling excellence. Diligent in defence, dogged in the tackle and trying to use their possession by playing under the wind and up the muddy slope, the visitors frustrated the hosts.


With Carla’s marking job forcing the No.11 into an early substitution, and every visitor snapping into the tackle, it took 22 minutes to draw Jelly into serious action, coming out to dive at the feet of the Palace forward cutting in from the left. It took another five minutes for the hosts to get a shot on target, handled confidently by Jelly.


Sadly, on their next foray the favourites took the lead. A Palace through-ball down the left found no fewer than four forwards stranded by Teddington’s offside trap, but the flag didn’t come. Somewhat amazed but certainly not sluggish, Palace accepted the gift and hammered into the lead.


Half-time brought warm words and a triple substitution: Parky on for Anna, Liz for Doddsy and Bash for Pheeb, with Boz flicking to the right and Bash left. With the wind, slope and sun in their favour, and just the one goal to claw back, Teddington set about their hosts, pinning them down the hill.


After six minutes of pressure, a Boz corner from the right was just about bundled out at the near post for another flag-kick, fired across to Bash at the far post but she couldn’t quite turn it home.



Palace threatened on occasion, such as when the big No.9 expertly turned the otherwise wonderful Millie T and fired a shot just past the far post, but this was Teddington’s half. Another triple sub after 15 minutes saw the return of Anna in deep midfield for Carla, Doddsy up top for Ale and Phoebe out wide for Boz – and the returning winger’s 52nd-minute corner from the left once again flew agonisingly across the six-yard box without a Teddington girl managing to turn it in.


That proved doubly damning a minute later when the visitors dropped their guard and the hosts doubled their lead. Allowed too much time in midfield, Palace fed the big No.9, who cut inside and fired in off the far post.  

Teddington didn’t fold. A right-wing Phoebe corner on the hour was again almost converted by the ever-willing Bash, with Couls’s effort from the rebound blocked by a desperate defender and grabbed by the relieved goalkeeper. And with six minutes left, Pheebs’ right-wing cross once again found Bash, but the keeper parried and Liz couldn’t quite turn home the rebound.


That this wasn’t the finest of Palace’s 12 league victories this season reflects well on Teddington’s first-half dedication and second-half domination. A fifth defeat in six against the league leaders was frustrating in its thwarted possibilities but inspiring in its attitude. And even though the rejigged fixture list next takes them to champions AFC Wimbledon, and even though the squad will be weakened by half-term holidays, the Teddington team have proved that they can compete with the best on a playing field that’s only uneven in its geography.

TEDDINGTON ATHLETIC: Ella Waldron, Anna Kauffmann, Millie Theobald, Saskia Brewster, Amy Hallett, Carla Novakovic, Ella Bothamley, Ella Dodd, Emily Coulson, Phoebe Head, Ale Fairn. Subs: Ella Parkinson-Mearns, Liz Kriebel, Emily Bashford. 


Wednesday 3 February 2016

Sun 31 Jan: Teddington Athletic 7-0 Crystal Palace Blues

Teddington’s next two games could be as tough as they’ll get all season. Next week it’s away to Crystal Palace Reds, last season’s double cup winners and this season’s league leaders; then a skeleton squad of 11 girls will take on Abbey Rangers, who started the day with a 100% record from their seven games.

In the circumstances, then, Teddington needed a fillip, and they got it against Crystal Palace Blues. Promoted last season, Palace’s second string have struggled to 11 consecutive losses, and could have done without starting this game a girl short while a delayed carful found the ground. But they possess some good players, are well-organised and could spring a surprise on the unwary.

The home side approached the game in the right fashion. Seeking to compress the game, Palace played a well-drilled but extravagantly high offside trap, and Teddington took their time to work it out – although they could have gone ahead in the fourth minute if centre-forward Ella Bothamley – starting in the absence of injured Ale Fairn, but herself perhaps feeling the effects of missing Friday’s training with a cold – had been more effective in reaching Ella Dodd’s through-ball.

Palace’s missing players arrived after 20 minutes of Teddington alternating between creating chances and getting carelessly caught offside. Sadly for the delayed visitors, they arrived just in time to see the home side solve the puzzle. Amy Hallett, who spent the match expertly defusing Palace attacks and setting Teddington on the front foot, played a peach of a through-ball for Boz. With Palace’s offside trap in tatters somewhere near the halfway line, the striker had a long time to think about it but stayed calm and planted the ball low to the goalkeeper’s right for a lead nobody could call undeserved.

Two minutes later Boz almost doubled the lead in a decidedly less purposeful fashion. Taking a corner short to the ever-alert left-back Saskia Brewster, Boz received the return pass and curled it towards the far post – which the ball promptly hit.

The positive impact of Palace’s fresh legs was outweighed by Teddington’s own rotation. Anna Kauffman had been as dependable as ever, but for the last 10 minutes of the half she was replaced at right-back by Ella Parkinson-Mearns, returning from illness and injury with a typically tenacious show; with Anna away for the Abbey game, Parky will need to be as diligent again. The ever-alert Liz Kriebel came into central midfield for Doddsy, while Emily Bashford replaced Millie MacEacharn on the left.

Meanwhile, Sadie Day – who has perhaps surprised herself with her own determination – suffered a knee injury and was replaced by Phoebe Head. The top scorer was soon in the thick of it, linking well with Boz twice in two minutes. First, a typically dangerous Boz corner fizzed across the six-yard line and Phoebe’s point-blank left-foot effort was instinctively blocked by the goalkeeper; then, striker sent winger running through from deep, but again the goalkeeper did well to parry Phoebe’s high shot.

Teddington ended the half in a flurry of corners, and doubled their lead in injury time when Phoebe’s flag-kick from the right was forced home at the near post by Emily Coulson. This was only her second of the campaign, a surprisingly poor return considering she was last season’s 19-goal top scorer, and has the technical quality to strike the ball from anywhere. But as the management reinforced at half-time, Em is often simply too reluctant to shoot. Always aware of the possibilities of passing and turning her defender inside-out, “Couls” sometimes needs to remember the advice of Bob Paisley: “If you're in the penalty area and don't know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we'll discuss the options later.”

As is sadly traditional, Teddington started the second half a little slowly, standing off in midfield and allowing the visitors their best chance – but the increasingly confident goalkeeper Ruby Rudkin was easily equal to the task.

A Palace goal might have caused some nerves, but with Parky, Sas and Millie Theobald tightening up the defence most of the action was up the other end, where Couls was finding lots of space in the pockets between the lines, and linking up notably well with Phoebe. First the winger found her on the edge of the box, but she dragged her shot just wide; a minute later. Phoebe’s right-wing cross was heading straight for Couls when a pressure defender bundled it in for an own goal – Teddington’s fourth of the season.

That started a glut of three goals in a little over five minutes, all featuring Emily C at some point. Midfield dynamo Carla Novakovic dug in to win the ball in the centre-circle and laid off to Phoebe, who cut back inside and laid a gorgeous left-footed diagonal for Bash to streak onto. The goalkeeper once again got something on the shot but Couls was on hand to mop up and make it 4-0.

Within a couple of minutes, 4-0 became 5-0 – and once again both Emilys were involved. Bash roared down the left and closed in on the goalkeeper, getting a clonk on the leg and tears in her eyes, but she wasn’t going to stop. Again the keeper’s parry was picked up by Couls, and with her view of goal blocked by defenders, she reset it to Boz on the edge of the area to lash home her second of the match.

Clearly enthused, Emily C almost completed her hat-trick but her superb lob was ruled out for yet another offside. Boz didn’t get the chance to complete her own hat-trick: after 52 minutes of hard running up top she was replaced by Doddsy, who presented Palace with a different challenge. At the same time, the quietly excellent Carla was replaced in midfield by Anna, with Parky settling at right-back: to prove the point, she wont ball determinedly, and laid it off to Liz, whose clever ball one more found Bash coming in off the left wing.

Palace now faced a front three of differing styles: the muscular determination of Doddsy flanked by the fearless speed of Bash and the pacy awareness of Phoebe – who, like Emily C, was given some personal coaching to improve her chances in front of goal. At half-time, Pheebs had quietly complained that “I haven’t scored in ages”; 10 minutes after the break, she scorched through but stayed wide instead of heading for goal and getting her body across the trailing defender. A quick word from the sidelines soon sorted this out, and Phoebe was back on the scoresheet. Darting through the inside-right channel, and accompanied by Doddsy and Bash to keep the defence occupied, Pheebs headed for the whites of the posts instead of the bye-line and stroked the ball into the bottom-left corner like the excellent goalscorer she is.

Soon after, the same simple technique worked again. With her final act of a towering performance, Amy – surrounded by bigger opponents, but wiser than all of them and learning all the time – nipped in to win the ball and play a quick 10-yarder to Doddsy, who executed a classic target-man’s lay-off to send Phoebe scuttling past the poor old left-back. Arrowing in from the wing and once again supported by Doddsy and Bash, Phoebe got her body between the ball and the helpless defender, headed straight for goal and calmly found the bottom corner at the near post for 7-0.

That concluded the scoring, but not for want of trying. Liz slalomed through with a great run but couldn’t quite finish it off; Ella Waldron added her usual presence during a late cameo in place of Amy; while Bash’s replacement Macca quickly get herself involved too.  

The seven-goal gap was as big as Teddington have achieved since January 2014, but there are more important things than drubbings. Teddington once again shared the action around a squad that is pleasingly deep in talent, but will be precariously thin as the half-term holiday absences bite. And the action wasn’t the only thing shared around: so were the goals. Boz’s brace took her to eight for the season, Emily C’s first league goals of the season are hopefully a sign of things to come, and Phoebe broke a three-month scoring duck with a simple lesson quickly learned. When she made that plaintive half-time point, Pheebs was told that it would come good if she did the right thing. She did and it did. Onwards to new challenges.

TEDDINGTON ATHLETIC Ruby Rudkin, Anna Kauffmann, Millie Theobald, Saskia Brewster, Amy Hallett, Ella Dodd, Carla Novakovic, Sadie Day, Emily Coulson (2), Millie MacEacharn, Ella Bothamley (2). Subs Ella Parkinson-Mearns, Ella Waldron, Liz Kriebel, Phoebe Head (2), Emily Bashford. +1og